The impact of pregnancy loss and the importance of midwifery support
As a midwife I have an incredible job which I love. I love getting to know the families I work with, supporting them through such diverse journeys they are on as they prepare to welcome their beloved little humans into the world. I am often involved from very early on in the pregnancy and up to 6 weeks postpartum. Sometimes even before a pregnancy. I am by their side during the roller coaster ride that pregnancy and new parenthood bring. The many challenges and obstacles and often the heartache that can sometimes happen in any pregnancy and I am privileged to be part of the many families stories, helping to support and nurture during these experiences.
I see the best and unfortunately also the hardest, when sometimes a pregnancy journey may not end with a baby and excited parents. Pregnancy can be an exciting time but equally can be turbulent, hard and scary, with heartbreak and loss and the importance of midwifery support during this time is paramount.
Some families start their journey full of excitement and wonder of what's to come, starting to dream and make plans. What will their baby look like, thinking about names, buying clothes and planning life with their new baby.
When a pregnancy journey ends without a baby, the loss can cause a huge tidal wave of grief and negative emotions ranging from shock, sadness, devastation and even guilt. Grieving for what would've been and the future they will no longer have with that much longed for baby.
I often share positive stories and posts of the happy experiences of my work but I also want to acknowledge those families that are silently grieving for what wasn't to be. I see you, I hear you and I feel your pain. I want to acknowledge the excitement and joy you felt at the start of your journey, that your hopes and dreams for what should've been are very real and valid and will always be a part of your story.
Our work often sees us supporting families as they are TTC, during a pregnancy loss and having difficult pregnancies and these journeys are equally as important as the happy ones.
Pregnancy and birth aren't always a happy time and for subsequent pregnancies after loss, can be long, hard and emotional. Old feelings of grief and trauma can resurface and the prospect of further heartache is never far away.
Hardly daring to feel excitement and joy for the thought of what might happen.
Allow yourself the time you need to heal and reach out to support around you. Talk about your feelings and talk about your baby and find a way for you and your family to remember your baby and those hopes and dreams you had.